Vignettes from an Indian immigrant

Not because they were important, but because I cannot decide what they are

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Underneath my hefty snow jacket, I wore a pair of straight light blue jeans and a black spaghetti top. I did not own too many party clothes – the black spaghetti top was an undershirt I wore for see-through tops.

In the quest for the quintessential college experience, my girl friends and I went to our first frat party. A guy made his way over. He asked me my name. I asked his. Social courtesy.

I said “मैं मुंबई से हूँ”

He shot me a confused look.

Turns out, he was not an Indian “Dev” but a White “Dave”. We had a good laugh. We never saw each other again.

I wonder what went through his mind.

Did he compare himself to Balajeet or Raj Koothrapali or Chirag Gupta?
Or, did he just think I was stupid?

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We were scrolling through Hinge on her phone. A guy came up. She swiped left.

“He’s Indian”, she said like that justified it.

The next day, she sent me a reel. A brown woman reeling in brown pride.

I did not say anything either time.

Now, I pay attention to what people share with me and what they swipe past.

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“Fob”

This is the term a child of an Indian immigrant used to refer to an Indian immigrant. To explain their lack of understanding of societal norms in the states.

“Ooooh. I would not use that word”, many remarked. I nodded along.

Ten minutes later, I received a long apology on text. I was the only Indian immigrant in the room.

Was I the recipient of an apology on behalf of all of us?

Did any other immigrants in the room flinch? Or do we only flinch when it’s our own kind?

But the thing is, I didn’t flinch.

I wonder what that makes me.

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I had been scrolling through Instagram. South Asian girls, prettier than me, and in the comments underneath: “But you’re still Indian”

That night, I went to a TikTok artist’s pop-up concert at Blind Big – a “snug, unpretentious watering hole and music venue in Ann Arbor”.

Someone tapped my shoulder. A ten-year old white girl, looking up into my eyes.

“You’re very pretty”, she said.

I waited for the “But you’re Indian”. It didn’t come.

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